I read my blog that I started on myspace 3+ years ago, these things I am sure of. I know more of who I am now. I have more confidence in myself now. I have more patience. I also find that I am not as outspoken as I used to be. I have no memory now, and I surely don't have the wit I once did. Maybe the patience part isn't true. My wanting more patience doesn't mean that I automatically have it. Just like; my dads a doctor I know what your medical condition is. Or my brother is a mechanic, I can fix your car. I stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night, I now have the knowledge of all the land. I have all of these thoughts going through my head right now and I don't know where to start. My random thoughts are just that, and I would like to figure out how to organize them. I feel as if I have ADD or something. I know I am capable of forming a complete sentence, I just cant. I want to just blurt. So I guess this is going to be my blurt and not my blog.
Because you are in your car with your windows rolled up doesn't mean we as other drivers cant see you pick your nose, and visa versa, I am aware they can see me do it, it just seems like my safe place where I can pick my nose. Everyone is doing it picking their nose and chewing it, people think its funny but its snot! haha
I don't want to hear the conversation you are having with anyone on the phone. First off I am too nosey not to want to hear what the other person is saying, so text or email this doesn't interest me. Second, your life is not that interesting that you must share every little detail with every single person that calls you (this is about my office mates)
Shitting in public, I am aware that people do it. Why for the love of Rod do they have to shit in the bathroom right before I use it. Seriously? Is there not a safe place for my nostrils to go so I can enjoy a nice piss without smelling your stank ass?
There are 3 people at my work that call my office at least 10 times a day, and they still feel like they have to tell me who they are and what department they are in. Mary, I know your voice, I know where you work. Its been so for at least 7 years! Part two of this. DON'T YELL INTO THE PHONE! My ears are offended by the pollution that is coming from your face!
No, your baby isn't the cutest baby I have ever seen, mine were.
Cough into the crook of your arm, wash your hands after using the bathroom, blowing your nose, smoking and eating. Last thing I want to do is touch anything you may have touched after doing this.
I just came to the conclusion that I am a fucking whiner!
I love my husband, he cooks dinner for the family every night.
I love my husband, he opens doors for me and gives me his hand to assist me.
I love my husband, his hand is always securely on the small of my back.
I love my husband, he plays with my hair when my head is resting on his chest.
I love my husband, he doesn't have to fill the silent moments with blabber.
I love my husband, he treats me with respect.
I love Celena she always has something funny to say.
I love Lily She always has something nice to say.
I love Felix he always has something silly to say.
My parents always loved me unconditionally.
My siblings, older and wiser than me, always supplied me with support.
My friends, the true ones, hold me accountable and help me live to my greatest potential.
For all of you who are reading this. I share myself with you, because you are special to me. I don't say it enough, I cherish you.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
Attention Kmart Shoppers!
I have always thought of myself as an attentive listener. I like to hear peoples stories, no matter how silly or serious they are. I enjoy the way people are animated or lack animation when they talk. Hand gestures are the best! So with this being said I guess I take it for granted that others are not as attentive as I am. I don't hold this against them or anything, I just wonder if I am too attentive.
Monday, August 3, 2009
Im having a pity party and you are invited!
Lately I have been really sad, easily hurt and overall frustrated. I have the normal worries everyone else does, money and health etc. Not to get into anything super personal, I am being a total whiner, but like everyone else I am entitled. I cant always be peaches and cream, happy go lucky and all that crap, all the time. I have melt downs and bitch fits too.
I am often if not always there for my friends and family when they need to have melt downs. I do not know if its my personality or what but I tend to not share my stuff with others, when I melt down it is usually on my own. So this last week I am having one, they don't come often cause I like to live drama free and let things slide. But I feel so hurt and angry at one person in particular because of their reaction to my having a melt down and this has compounded my feelings. And I feel vulnerable right now and it sucks ass. Not only did I think of this person as my best friend, I thought of her as a sister, a family member. When someone comes up to me and is in near tears and says that they are losing their mind has a heavy heart, my reaction is to not say, well we all know that you lost your mind, or oh maybe you are going through the change, or even, maybe you are PMSing. My reaction as a friend is to say, whats going on? Do you want to talk about it? Is there anything I can do to help? Not from this girl it is bullshit like the aforementioned. It could be that I am being over sensitive or just angry. But dude that was the wrong thing to say. I have done nothing but be there for her, when she had breakups, when her kids were assholes. When she just needed an ear, I was there. There were no rude comments, no hurtful words. Just listening and giving kind words when I felt they were needed. In reflecting on this relationship she has been an overall good friend, I think about it and think, shoot maybe she is going through something and needs some one to listen to. I feel bad because I wont be that person anymore, I cant. It is a heavy heart that I carry right now. I wont blame her for anything cause she isn't the reason behind my original feelings. Breaking up with a friend is a hard thing to do. I hope that none of you should have to do this.
I am often if not always there for my friends and family when they need to have melt downs. I do not know if its my personality or what but I tend to not share my stuff with others, when I melt down it is usually on my own. So this last week I am having one, they don't come often cause I like to live drama free and let things slide. But I feel so hurt and angry at one person in particular because of their reaction to my having a melt down and this has compounded my feelings. And I feel vulnerable right now and it sucks ass. Not only did I think of this person as my best friend, I thought of her as a sister, a family member. When someone comes up to me and is in near tears and says that they are losing their mind has a heavy heart, my reaction is to not say, well we all know that you lost your mind, or oh maybe you are going through the change, or even, maybe you are PMSing. My reaction as a friend is to say, whats going on? Do you want to talk about it? Is there anything I can do to help? Not from this girl it is bullshit like the aforementioned. It could be that I am being over sensitive or just angry. But dude that was the wrong thing to say. I have done nothing but be there for her, when she had breakups, when her kids were assholes. When she just needed an ear, I was there. There were no rude comments, no hurtful words. Just listening and giving kind words when I felt they were needed. In reflecting on this relationship she has been an overall good friend, I think about it and think, shoot maybe she is going through something and needs some one to listen to. I feel bad because I wont be that person anymore, I cant. It is a heavy heart that I carry right now. I wont blame her for anything cause she isn't the reason behind my original feelings. Breaking up with a friend is a hard thing to do. I hope that none of you should have to do this.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
My first bolg
OK, so I have never written a blog before. I have written poems and songs and stories, but this might be interesting. I know what you are thinking. Why have you never blogged before? Well it's simple really. I never found the time to write them, just read them. Now I find myself wanting to get things off my mind, off my chest, and this seems like the best way to do it.
Here is a little bit of history on me. I am a mother first and foremost. I have 3 great amazing talented beautiful children, but rest assured, I will not be telling you about every time one of them does something spectacular. I am a wife, have been for 15 years! Thanks, I know I look way too young to be married for that long, I was a child bride. I am a hard worker, I have a sit down desk job at the moment, which most of the time I love, sometimes I fucking hate it. I don't think it's the job so much as the people. Well two people really. I work in surgery at a major trauma center in Colorado. I put all the charges in for surgical procedures and update and order inventory. You can see me in the O.R on occasion, I used to be a surgical aide, I wasn't a scrub tech. So if I could I would go back to doing that, I just make a whole hell of a lot more money doing what I am doing now. If you are into blood and guts, have I got some stories! I am a sister, I have two amazing loving beautiful sisters that are indeed my best friends. There is a big age difference so it took us awhile to be friends. I also have a brother, he is a good person but he is an alcoholic and has attempted suicide on numerous occasions. I would love nothing more than for him to be healthy and happy. I am a friend. You need an ear to talk to a shoulder to cry on, a shirt off my back, a joke to make you smile. I am there. I am passionate about everything that means something to me. I love a good argument and I love to laugh. I am a lot of things, now maybe I am a blogger!
Here is a little bit of history on me. I am a mother first and foremost. I have 3 great amazing talented beautiful children, but rest assured, I will not be telling you about every time one of them does something spectacular. I am a wife, have been for 15 years! Thanks, I know I look way too young to be married for that long, I was a child bride. I am a hard worker, I have a sit down desk job at the moment, which most of the time I love, sometimes I fucking hate it. I don't think it's the job so much as the people. Well two people really. I work in surgery at a major trauma center in Colorado. I put all the charges in for surgical procedures and update and order inventory. You can see me in the O.R on occasion, I used to be a surgical aide, I wasn't a scrub tech. So if I could I would go back to doing that, I just make a whole hell of a lot more money doing what I am doing now. If you are into blood and guts, have I got some stories! I am a sister, I have two amazing loving beautiful sisters that are indeed my best friends. There is a big age difference so it took us awhile to be friends. I also have a brother, he is a good person but he is an alcoholic and has attempted suicide on numerous occasions. I would love nothing more than for him to be healthy and happy. I am a friend. You need an ear to talk to a shoulder to cry on, a shirt off my back, a joke to make you smile. I am there. I am passionate about everything that means something to me. I love a good argument and I love to laugh. I am a lot of things, now maybe I am a blogger!
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